"There are a few things in life that finally help you make sense of things, and I was wondering why I was really gravitating to your energy and approach spiritually to fighting. I view it as something inside of me, saying …. “something about this guys story will help some sense come to you….something will click” ….And it did!.. "

The images and story of you finding your true self through adversity made me start to ponder, I’m too old to keep getting myself into trials to find “my metal”, and when it happens from time to time, I find it is never a trial and I manage easy, where others break…So what was it I was drawn to?

What I see you still going through, I have been through, but as a small child, lacerations to my skull, being burnt by cigarettes, beaten with shoes, bottles, brushes , and hurleys [like a hockey stick the irish use in a game called hurling ], drowned, suffocated , and I survived it all. Not only survived it but learned to live with it, and find a way to still have some type of childhood, and even love my abusers. I would forgive often, only to be abused at a later date again……but I was still able to make people laugh, still able to love, still able to be a loyal and protective friend.

For years I would ignore, the little boy living in this battle field, and only think about my abusers, this angered me. And the living with anger would push me into uncontrollable rages, and got me into a lot of trouble plus toxic self medication to try in some way to lull my melancholy.

I now realize I should have focused my memory on the kid that went through this fire and came out with still his loving , brave heart INTACT! …Still smiling, through the memories of the smell of my own blood, gushing out of my young face and head…that is what i found familiar with you, you are reminding me of the acceptance of the battle in front of you, but never breaking, and remaining in dignity…

I had no choice, and you look like you have no choice…..and through you as a reminder, i have gone back into my past, not with pain , but with admiration for that little smiling warrior, that had to survive to become the man I am today admiring the boy I was then….I thank ALLAH for creating us to remind each other of how great we really are, and the signs come in many different ways, and from many different people, I’m grateful, and it is a great blessing that I have stayed alive to be reminded of me by you dedicating yourself to a life of reminding yourself of you…….

Kevin my friend you are more than just the soul assassin, you are the soul reminder……..


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