When I was an alcoholic and drug addict (as if there is a difference). I remember going into the room where all my clothes and shoes were, and the shoes were covered in dust and the clothes had some spider webs on them. In fact when I walked through the door I felt spider webbing on my face. At that moment my poetic mind which was still alive told me, “this is what it will look like when you die”, when chemicals are firing off the brain, from the neck down stops wanting to move, life no longer stimulates and to this day life is still a little dull, because my brain had been taken into a life or death space. Everyday I woke up I was a survivor, but i was not living. I was locked up in prisons for being violent because of a polluted brain and nervous system. Was ALLAH saving my life?
I was locked up 23 hours a day so I was not about to go down the block by being caught taking drugs. So I ate well read books on addiction and discovered a word that changed my life REVERENCE.
I force fed myself every detail of life I could. I watched myself move and read books on the workings of my anatomy. I looked at pictures of nature. I prayed and counted my blessings. But I knew my mind can get bored with “normal life”, so I became a movement student and pushed myself to extremes. Extremes that competed with the chemical extremes and won. Then I told my whole being we are going to live a life of service. All of me got excited. It’s a beautiful curse so to speak left behind by addiction, because I can’t sit still and I have to feed my mind challenges. Then I send the best drug of all to my system. GRATITUDE .
DRUGS ARE FOR COWARDS MADE COWARDS BY BAD PARENTING AND SCHOOLING, That was ME using drugs to drop out. I understood the guy waiting to die and I sympathised. That’s why I am taking him on this amazing journey. He is grateful to me and does not fear ME any more. I give him nice clothes with no dust in sight because waiting to die is out of the question when you can live so dapper, while being proof of life itself. WELL DONE JOHNNY. WELL DONE……… OSU